THE RETURN OF THE PRODIGAL 'SUN'

Some 'light' quasar humour

'After leaving the fold of our galaxy, quasars, these 'rogue' objects have ventured further and further from home to the outer reaches of the cosmos. Along the way, they have broken every theoretical law of decent behavior expected of any self-respecting stellar object. During their long journey to the Dark-side of the Force they have little by little forgotten their roots based on solid knowledge of experimental plasma physics to embrace the strange, paradoxical and intoxicating solutions of warped space-time. Each new theory becoming more and more removed from real life, (and correspondingly more potent), each new theory 'spiked' with 'the hard stuff' becomes increasingly difficult to swallow. Until the mere mention of 'The beginning of time' is enough to send shivers of pleasure through even the most jaded quasar. Until all that is left is the pure fantasy of hedonistic escapism from the bounds of every discernible fact. Forgive them, for the intoxicated quasars know not what they do !

Quasars have been enticed out of our galaxy by the alluring dream of the secret of creation, the birth of the universe, unfortunately there are no shortcuts in this quest. The 'astrology' of the big-bang is a new age religion with many loyal believers, however it is merely a quick thrill which through lack of predictive power leaves the quasars feeling 'hungry' inside, desperately searching for their next fix. Like burnt out rock stars, the quasars have been 'on the road' for too long, their cosmological 'junk food' diet has made them weak and anemic.

This can easily be remedied with a hardy home cooked meal :

It is time for the exile to end, time for these outcasts to sober up, swallow their pride and return to their galactic hometown to enjoy the privileges previously accorded to them when they were still considered stars. There is no shame in admitting that they had ventured beyond the bounds of decent behavior and have spent all of their respectability on the fanciful and ephemeral pleasures of abstract theoretical cosmology. Quasars, will always be welcome home in the warm cocoon of our galaxy from whence they were born. Time for quasars to end their restless daydream; time to wake up with a nice hot cup of plasma physics.

Quasars are, and have always been, stellar objects. As stars, give them the respect they deserve and help them rehabilitate on their long journey back towards respectability. And if cosmological temptation rears its ugly head again :

JUST SAY NO !

Paid for by the local association of physicists against drunk quasars.
:-) Humour Page